thethingsyoudon'tknow

Today, I woke up.
And for some reason unknown I got out of bed and I walked outside. I sat on the brick walkway infront of my house. I looked past the trees and past the birds, past the perfect hue of the sky. I looked past you sitting on the beach and the happiness that I thought you would bring to me forever. I looked past it as if it had only been a figment of my imagination. I walked past you as if I was a tourist looking for the ferris wheel. Or just walking on the wooden boardwalk that seemed to conceal all of my insecurities. I think that I am better now. So maybe, just maybe, I am walking away from this as a stronger heart with the determination to love again.

I got up from my spot on the brick and walked toward the daisies on the stair. I carefully removed one from it's home and tucked it behind my ear, hoping that the beauty of its existance would keep this new want to love constantly circulating through my mind.

cause maybe, but just maybe..

    I am better.

some time ago..

The sun shined like a bare-burning flame. 

I sometimes had to squint my eyes so i could see. 

causing everything around me to fog over. 

But still. I had a feeling of complete clarity. 

so i guess anything short of complete didn't really enter my concern.

Almost as i was walking on air, I stepped into your line of vision. 
Walking over to you on your spot on the sand, opening my heart.
A door that I'd hoped would open only for you.
You would dance on clouds, tiptoeing around my delicate heart. 
I would sit still. 
Allowing you to get comfortable in a corner of my life. 
As i had dreamed you fit perfectly. 
Filling my mind with a constant reassurance
that the sun would never set on us. 
like any flame deprived of oxygen, it disappeared. 
and unlike i would have thought, i couldn't see you anymore.
Sitting on the sand, silently watching the waves break. 
The door closed so quietly it amounted to nothing but a snap of air. 
That was the strangeness of it. 
How a small sound like that could shatter my world.